That's fine that you've put your message on here. I can't imagine how difficult it's all been for you (and your family), especially yesterday. You wouldn't have felt like it this year, but in the future, it's OK to still celebrate anniversaries. I know it's not the same, but it's still the day you got married. 30 years is amazing. I'll be up for 6 this year and I think even that is amazing these days!
You will get through all this, but it will take time. You grieve at your own pace. There's no time limits, so take as long as you need. Don't let anyone tell you that you should be 'over it' after a certain amount of time has passed. It's not them that's grieving, what would they know.
I agree with Sybil, get the son in laws around and de feral that garden. You can plant a nice low maintenance garden, including the memorial rose.
That was a wonderful thing your husband did, being a tissue donor. Every gift is so precious and most people just don't realise how much. Some people can only give corneas and that in itself is such a precious gift. They allow 2 people to have what we take for granted.....sight.
We are all thinking of you and if there's anything any of us can do, you only have to ask. We're also here if you just want to talk. I have no idea what you're going through, but I'm a good listener.
Big hugs to you.
Jane