I can commiserate, Kim. Sometimes the darkness of my thoughts takes me by surprise. The hormonal cycles of the human body are fascinating and scary but I ride that rollercoaster while being aware that it is JUST a cycle and things will balance out. If I know that I’m going to be in a vulnerable emotional state I try to soften my exposure to disturbing things such as tv shows with graphic themes. I have enough crap going on in my head I surely don’t need any added fuel to that fire.
I’m so sorry to hear about what happened in your family – mental illness is so heartbreaking to witness and to read your post about your dad is a sobering reminder that there are so many people in the world that suffer. That’s why shows on tv will never run out of plot lines. Everybody hurts. But we can love, too. And forgive.
I hope you are feeling better after writing your post – it’s such a good thing to do – sharing your thoughts like that. If things are still gloomy for you then please don’t hesitate to speak to someone. It’s great to acknowledge your thoughts and let them go, but if they won’t leave then it’s time to bring out the reinforcements.
hugs to you.... bird