Hi Kim,
Sorry for the delay, I just got super busy with work, which was making me feel so overwhelmed and just not up to par. I just re-read your part about needing some comfort the night you posted your message. I'm just sorry I wasn't around at the time.
I do know how those times are, and usually sleep makes me feel somewhat better. As if a little panic attack is going off inside. I have pondered questions a little too deeply (like what happens when you die) and have set off a huge frightening feeling within myself. I can see that happening for all types of thoughts about why a person does or have the courage to do certain things. I hate feeling like that too.
From reading your other posts, I would tend to agree a part of that feeling does have to do with being female, and that lovely monthly thing that women have. Its different for all, but I have been experiencing stronger emotions before the event. I contribute it to premenopasal symptoms. yea...!
I don't recall if you said this, but have you talked to someone about the death of your father? It sounds as if you have questions and unsettled thoughts. Getting them out of your head is a great start of the healing process. Once someone knows what you are carrying in your head and able to provide feedback, I think this haunting will disapate considerably.
I've been thinking of you and sending good vibes. Take care and keep writing!
Love and hugs,
Carol