Have you spoken to him about that fact you need a little more affection?
I get from your post that you know it is not fair to compare your ex and current BF, they are different people. It is very easy to compare people and judge them based on the actions of people from our past.
My partner is long distance at the moment and I only speak to him (via msn) once every couple of weeks. It is hard, but the thing is, my committment to him and my trust in him stems from me, not his actions. I make the choice with regard to how I respond to him. It would be nice if he could contact me more frequently or be more affectionate, but that will not happen because that is not a possibility at present. Instead, I value the things he does for me and the time he can spend with me, each of the small ways he does show his care. I trust that he feels deeply for me because he has told me and I have not had any evidence to the contrary. (I do have to be reminded of that occassionally *wink*).
The important thing is to focus on what you do have. I am pretty sure you already know this. Have you spoken to him about that fact you need a little more affection?