hello to anyone who cares to read this.
i just figured i'd throw some things out here. see if it helps to just get them off my chest.
i decided to stay at college this summer and work, instead of staying at my parents house (which is 90 minutes away) and be lazy. it was a good decision in the beginning, but it got lonely fairly quickly. i spent too much time in my own head. i stayed locked in my room and dwelled on my past; the good, the bad, and, oft times, the ugly.
the end of july was the worst. a couple of nights, i just got in the car and drove. i would just end up driving around DC at midnight and i couldn't remember how i got there. not safe, i know.
but tr saved me. that sounds ridiculous, i know. i got something in the mail from him on august 5, and it mentioned this place. it really couldn't have come at a better time. i finally got up the courage to post something on here and someone even posted a reply!
just reading about other people on here is an encouragement. i've found that i'm not alone. i know that we're never alone, and there's always help...but sometimes it's hard to reach out.
and there are some things that you can't tell certain people. they'll never look at you the same way again. or treat you the same way.
so that's where i'm at. i'm considering this my first step. i guess i'm asking for...i don't even know what. i guess i just wanted somewhere to dump everything out of my brain. i just want to forget everything. will that ever happen?
is there any way i can ever forget it all?