Boy, do I know how you felt after watching The War Zone. Same thing happened to me too. My first viewing was painful as it reminded me of when one of my brothers molested me a couple of times. I only remember two times, one with his friend. I was 10,11 years old. It wasn't abusive or violent, but he was 5 years older and he knew what he was doing. I was extremely naive.
Anyway, my memory was also "tucked away" in the back of my head. To have them enter my memory was like stepping on glass. I don't think I told anyone and kept it with me for over 25 years. THEN I quit smoking at the tender age of 41, and for some reason TR became my crutch and new addiction. I was blown away by his performance in the newer Planet of the Apes. I had to see more! Then I had to thank him, for how his acting ability helped me cope with my prior smoking addiction. It really had a psycological hold on me.
THEN I found this group, looking for a personal way to thank him. THEN I remembered that painful memory, told my story on here, found some life long friends, people far away, and yet become so dear to my heart. I even got to meet these dear friends of mine whom I love so very much. And after I shared my dark past, I was able to share more, and give the love back.
I enourage you to talk or post your thoughts, feelings and opinions out. People will not think you are crazy. Believe me. There are A LOT of folks out there who feel like you. Once you realize you are not alone, then it feels a bit easier and you feel stronger. If you can see a free counselor, yes, do it, at least once. They are professional and have training.
I'll quit my ramblings, but know I feel for you, and do care. I may not know exactly how you feel, but I understand. You are welcome to share yourself on this board anytime and NO ONE will ever think you are crazy.
Take care, love and hugs,
Carol