I can relate to the way you're feeling. I know I wouldn't be able to cope if something happened to my Mum, she's everything to me and without her I just... I don't know, it doesn't bear thinking about. Since I was a little girl thoughts of my Mum dying has haunted me and whenever I'm feeling particularly down they drift back in. We all have to come to terms with our mortality at some point and the only thing we can do is make the most of the time we have with the ones we love because noone knows what tomorrow will bring.
Terribly sorry to hear about your coach. Take care.
Big hugs, love Lisa x x x