Hi Thea,
Sorry to hear that you’re dealing with unsettling dreams. I used to have them but as I’ve gotten older (I’m now 40) my dreams are not so bad. I wish I could say for certain why I don’t have them like I used to but I honestly don’t know. I’m happier now and feel healthier so perhaps the dreams were fueled by stress. Even so I’ll have one occasionally that makes me really uncomfortable and usually it’ll take place and include people in an environment that I remember from my distant past. I once thought that they meant something significant and I would try to find the “message” that my subconscious was trying to share. Over time the need to understand every aspect of my dreams faded. Because I had a dream about doing something awful, did that mean I secretly wanted to do that in real life? If I had a dream about someone doing something to me that I don’t remember, did that mean it may have really happened? I could drive myself crazy with the speculation. I decided that my dreams reflected my present circumstances rather than telling me hidden things about my past. If I’m feeling out of control in my life then I’ll have dreams where I’m powerless or in hopeless situations – if I can deal with the present issue then my dreams are more serene.
Everyone is different, though. If your dreams are recurring or affecting your health then I wouldn’t hesitate to talk to your doctor or counselor about it. Many things can affect sleep...stress, medications, diet...if you look to these areas and find a balance then your dreams may be more peaceful. In the end you’ll know what feels right for you. I know it’s tempting to brush it off or keep how you’re feeling to yourself so I commend you for sharing your situation.
A friend of mine believes that the purpose of dreams is to take all the stuff we shove out of our awareness and process it on a deeper level. It doesn't matter if we understand the dream or not - the subconscious activity resolves any issues for us so stuff gets worked out whether we realize it or not. I have no idea where he comes up with this idea, but I’m sure there are lots of theories out there. Just keep asking questions until you get an answer that rings true for you.
Best of luck and hope you have sweet dreams very soon!
HUGS
bird