OH I know now it was a very most awful deed, and you know people don't seem to understand HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN, WHY WOULD SHE/HE DO SUCH A THING. Unless you are in this position and you are at the end of your rope and this is the only way you can see things then you cann't understand. I here people say they "SURVIVE IT" I don't look at it this way "my life was spared". I didn't know at the time why but you know if you can get pass thhat one time there is something for you to do and you have no clue as to what it is. I did many things after I got pass that oh they are not great but they don't have to be. If you feel good doing it like opening a door for someone loaded down with packages or just open a door for someone behind you or help someone at the store find something they are looking for, it is that easy well maybe not every one find pleasure in that but I do. I found it is not the big things in life sometimes it is small. understand?
I do have only one thing that I would consider death on if I have a diseaese let's say cancer and I was in pain GOD AWFUL PAIN and it was not going to get better I would most likely want death but this is extreme right now for me. Every understand?
Rhayden