Saint-Germain .:. Sub-personalities 101: Who is "Not Good Enough"?___1842
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Sub-personalities 101: Who is "Not Good Enough"?
A Saint-Germain Channel
by Alexandra Mahlimay and Dan Bennack Note: You are previewing this channel here for the first time. It will
be made public on our website on Monday, November 17, 2008. How many times have you asked yourself, "When will I receive the
goodness I deserve, especially after all the good I have done for
others?" Too often to remember, is what most of you would say, and
this would be essentially correct. What about all the times you were told, "Do what you love, and the
money will follow," - only to find that when you did, you weren't
valued by the ones you chose to serve? Again, more times than you
might care to recall. What does it mean to feel that you're not good enough, no matter how
hard you try? And why do these feelings seem to keep good things from
happening to you? Feeling that you're not good enough - or that you're not good at what
you do - means that somewhere deep inside, you feel unworthy of love,
and you believe that you must do something more about it. This misperception formed the first time you felt separated from the
love around you. For many, this happened during childhood. Perhaps you
were criticized for something you did or said. Often the words,
"You've been a bad boy" or "Don't be a bad girl" were heard. The
circumstances were not as important as the feelings they evoked in
you. Feelings that reside within you, even now. When you are told that you've been "bad" by someone you love, how can
you ever hope to feel "good" about yourself afterward, especially if
you are punished for this, too? Instead, you internalize the hurt.
And as more such painful experiences accumulate, you begin to believe
they are true. Soon, you accept that there is something wrong with
you, and that you must try harder to win the approval of those around you. And so, your journey into suffering begins. Inner Conflicts About Your Worth Any time you feel that you're not good enough, you can be certain that
part is convinced that you must try harder to be loved. This isolated
portion of your self awareness seems to be in direct conflict with the
core part of you that remembers your worth and goodness. This internal conflict is common in children, and unless it is healed
with love and understanding, it will be carried over into adulthood.
Inner conflicts like these can paralyze your capacity to feel love,
and they can prevent you from enjoying the things you value most,
whether at work or play. Lightworkers are especially susceptible to this dilemma. Although you
feel motivated to serve with compassion and understanding, what you do
never seems to be quite good enough for you or others. You have high hopes that you will be appreciated and even rewarded for
who you are, and this encourages you to give more of yourself, but
again with negligible results. Your mind tells you that you've done
everything correctly, but the empty feeling in your heart tells you
that it wasn't enough. The truth is that you are on a treadmill. You are conditioned to keep
trying harder and harder to get things right, because deep down
inside, you believe that you're not "good enough" for good things to
happen to you. This belief can be traced back to the rejections you
experienced as a child, simply because you felt the disturbances in
your connection with others so profoundly. Who Is "Not Good Enough"? "Not Good Enough" is the part of you that feels that you don't deserve
good things to happen to you, or to be loved just as you are. It is a
portion of your living energy - the Spirit that you are - that was
convinced in early childhood that it had been separated from God, you,
and those around you. It still feels threatened today. This part of your awareness believes that it is you, but it is not. It
is a sub-personality or fragment of your ego. It seems to have a life
of its own, but it is only active when you focus your attention on it
- whenever you accept its belief that you are not good enough. In
truth, it is only a misperception of who you think you are. "Not Good Enough" is one of your important sub-personalities. It is so
convinced that you are unworthy, that it can't imagine that you exist
outside of this experience. Because it believes this so completely, it
waits for these conditions to be fulfilled, knowing that sooner or
later you will be hurt by someone who finds you flawed and unlovable. "Not Good Enough" is also a saboteur. It will not allow you to escape
its beliefs about who you are. If you dare to do something that you
love - something you're good at, or something that you feel good doing
- it will feel threatened by this, and not permit it. It will tell you
that who you really are is "Not Good Enough", and because you are, you
cannot possibly feel good about anything. It will remind you of this
over and over, until you believe it again. "Not Good Enough" will undermine you with doubt, suspicion, and
self-judgment to the point that you abandon what feels good to you, or
what you might enjoy doing. If this doesn't work, it will draw down
the disapproval of others upon you, so that you can blame them for
your discouragement, instead of dealing with your own feelings of
unworthiness. Lightworker Illusions Does this sound familiar? Many of you struggle with this. The
tiredness, the discouragement, the pretty dreams that don't come true,
no matter how hard you try to manifest them. You like to attribute
these setbacks to your ascension process, but this is not always so.
Sometimes they are lightworker illusions. This kind of illusion lets
you continue sabotaging yourself with feelings of unworthiness,
without having to bring them to the light of consciousness. It lets
you pretend that ascension is about sacrificing what you love to do in
order to grow in consciousness, when what you are really doing is
sacrificing your consciousness in order to not grow at all. Many of you want to serve. You like the idea of it, and you can
imagine that it would feel good, if the world would appreciate you,
while you were doing it. But wait! Who is this talking? Is this you,
or is this "Not Good Enough" speaking on your behalf? "Not Good Enough" is perfectly happy to let you be inspired by
lightworker ideals, and to even let you get involved in these kinds of
activities. But it will only let you enjoy yourself to the point that
it feels threatened by your growing happiness and pleasure. Then it
will remind you that you are "Not Good Enough", and because you are,
it is impossible for you to feel good about who or what you are. It will tell you that no one knows how to appreciate you, or what you
have to offer. It will tell you that an employer doesn't value your
work, or a parent or spouse doesn't love you, as you deserve to be
loved. Perhaps it will tell you that the world isn't quite ready for
someone as sensitive, aware, and loving as you. And when it has
finished telling you all this, it will conclude by asking you to stop
doing everything that you feel good about. And that's what you'll do,
because by now you've been convinced, once again, that "Not Good
Enough" is who you are. You'll find yourself believing that you doesn't deserve to be happy,
or to have good things happen to you; and this is what you'll wind up
creating, if you don't put a stop to it. So, what do you do then? Do you sit in a corner and wait for things to fall apart? No, dear
friend. It's time for you to see the game you're playing with yourself. What You Can Do, Instead Know that that you are good enough to live a life of love, fully
connected to your Divinity. You are more than good enough. You are
your Divinity. God lives in you, as your innermost Self; and because
God does, you can assume this perspectives any time you like - anytime
you hear the voice of doubt telling you that all you are, is "Not Good
Enough". When you consciously choose this higher perspective about your Being,
you take up the position of the neutral Observer. You can look at this
part of yourself that is confused, and offer it love, instead. You
have compassion for its suffering, but you won't allow it to continue
devastating your life. You gently remind it Who You Really Are - a
Child of God, and God, also. Then you welcome it back home, into the
integrated family of God's Divine qualities that you embody as the
unique person that you are. The greatest gift of kindness and reintegration that you can give to
"Not Good Enough" is one of re-purposing. You can tell it that you are
whole, and wholly loved, Just As You Are - and that it is welcome in
this place of Wholeness with you. Remind it that you are in charge of
love, and that you will give it all the love it needs. Then ask it to
be vigilant for your goodness in a different way. Ask it to be watchful for all the opportunities you will have to feel
good about yourself, to do the things you enjoy, and to feel good
about them as you do them. Let this part of you safeguard your
goodness, instead of sabotaging it. Take it back to the truth of your
connection with God, and know that you will be supported in this. As
you do, your life will be blessed in many ways. I Am Saint-Germain.
http://joyandclarity.blogspot.com/
If you would like more information about Alexandra and Dan, their
channeled materials, workshops, and private sessions, please visit
their website at www.joyandclarity.com or send an email to
mahlimay@yahoo.com Joy and ClarityT and Joy and Clarity InternationalT offer channeled
messages, guided workshops, and public seminars to help free us from
limitations by expanding our human consciousness. This article may be distributed without charge, provided that it is
not altered or edited in any way. Commercialization by other parties
requires the expressed written consent of the copyright holders,
Alexandra Mahlimay and Dan Bennack. If you are reproducing this
material, please credit the authors by name and include the following
link: www.joyandclarity.com copyright © 2008 Alexandra Mahlimay and Dan Bennack. All rights reserved.
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